No more tubes!

Well, it's been an eventful couple of days. The girls had been sailing along, and then on Friday the hospital received the results to Alexa's blood screen done in Grand Rapids and, after running a few more tests, discovered that she has hypothyroidism. Apparently this is pretty rare for an infant and can affect her body temperature, oxygen levels, brain development, and metabolism/GI function among other things. As a result, they started her on medication immediately. We're not sure at this point if this will be something she will have to take for the rest of her life or if it will eventually resolve itself over time. She was also placed back on oxygen temporarily as her oxygen levels had been somewhat low on and off for a while, and yesterday they started her on some caffeine (yes, caffeine!) to help with her breathing.

Her doctor wants us to take her back to Grand Rapids after she is released from the hospital to consult with a pediatric endocrinologist regarding further care. So I guess we'll be making one more trip back to GR soon! Interestingly enough, Delaney does not seem to have any thyroid issues, despite sharing the same genetic make-up as Alexa so we're not sure if that means that it's not genetic or what.

On a more positive note, both girls had their feeding tubes removed today and have started taking bottles for every feeding! So far they have been doing great with it! They have been polishing off their bottles within minutes (even when the nurses slip them extras), and have been looking for more so the doctor agreed to increase their feedings to 40 mls. The girls are also getting closer to 4 pounds so they have started turning down the heat in their isolets, which the girls have done well with so far. The nurses seem to think that they may be able to move to an open bed before long! All good things!! Praise God!

Closer to home...

Well, the babies will be two weeks old tomorrow, and today marked a big milestone as they were transported (by ambulance) from Devos Hospital to Northern Michigan Hospital! Alexa had her IV taken out on Saturday and Delaney followed suit on Sunday, and they both began some bottle feedings on Saturday. As a result, the doctors felt they were stable enough to be transferred up to Petoskey! The girls have both done really well with their bottle feedings so far. Delaney took 15 of her 30 ml's on her first try, which the nurse was very impressed with since apparently most babies will only take around 5 or so the first several times. Alexa then decided to show her sister up and take the full 30 ml's her very first bottle feed, and has continued to do so pretty much every feeding. They are only getting bottles 2 times per day at this point as they expend so much energy taking the bottle that it can become counter-productive to do more than that at this point.

They are both regaining their weight, although somewhat slowly. Right now Alexa weighs 3 pounds, 13 ounces and Delaney weighs 3 pounds, 10 ounces. Their main goal in the NICU is just eating and growing. In order to come home they need to be able to regulate their own temperature and be able to take all their feedings by bottle and/or breast. It sounds like most babies have to be around 4 pounds to maintain their own temperature, and the feeding thing will just take some time to work up to, but we're getting there!

After nearly 8 weeks of being in GR, it's so good to be home! It will definitely be an adjustment for all of us to have me around again, but one I think we're all ready to make. All things considered, the last 8 weeks have gone incredibly smoothly, and have gone by faster than I anticipated. It was actually a little bittersweet to be heading home as we have all really enjoyed our time in GR staying with the Kohsels. They have truly become family to us in these past couple months and I don't know what we would have done without them! Also, as hard as it has been to be away for so long, I'm kind of glad I had the opportunity to heal some before having to dive back into full responsibilities at home! And now I have a little time to get my home in order before the babies actually come home, so I guess it's not all bad. So for now we are enjoying at least having our whole family in the same town again, and are looking forward to the day that we will all be under one roof!

6 days old

Ok, so I have not been doing a very good job of updating this blog since the babies were born! Somehow life just got a whole lot busier in the past week! So anyhow, here's a summary of the last week's events. After less than 24 hours in the NICU the girls were moved to the NIM (intermediate unit) as they were breathing well on their own. Feedings have been their biggest challenge so far. Until today they have been tube fed a whopping 6 ml of breast milk, which seems like all of a couple drops, and have IV's in to provide them with TPN for additional nourishment since they have not been tolerating their feedings overly well. They have, however, made enough improvement in the past day or so that they are attempting to bump their feedings up to 12 ml so we'll see how that goes! We're hopeful that they will be able to go off of the TPN before long so they won't have to have the IV's anymore as they have had to get new IV's pretty frequently and they're starting to run out of veins to put them in! Delaney received a peripheral pic line yesterday in an attempt to keep from being poked quite so much, and Alexa is on the waiting list to receive one. Apparently pic lines are in high demand. Who knew!

Both Delaney and Alexa received photo therapy for high bilirubin levels for a couple days, but have since been taken off and are doing well without so far. After losing some weight initially both babies are almost back up to their original birth weight. The nurses continue to be amazed at how closely the girls track one another: their weights, bili levels, vitals, etc. all tend to be very close. I guess that's what happens when you share that close of space for so long!

Eugene's parents and brother came to the hospital Friday, and then my parents brought the kids down to see the babies Friday evening. It was fun to watch the kids' reactions to the babies. Kyla and Addie were very excited and nurturing. I was impressed with how uninhibited, but gentle they were with"their" babies. Between how tiny they are and all the tubes and wires and everything it can be kind of intimidating to touch them initially because you feel like you're going to break them or something, but the girls were not phased at all and loved holding their hands and gently caressing their heads. Addie was especially into them and chose to come back with Eugene and I on Sunday to spend some time with them again. You could tell she was just eating it up, and asked to help feed them and picked out some clothes for them and even got to help hold them some. Taiven was quite enthralled for the first couple minutes or so and kept saying "I hold it?", but the next day he was less than thrilled when I was holding Delaney instead of him. He kept pointing to her isolet and saying "bed", as in "Put her back!".

Overall, it's been somewhat of a crazy week as our plans (ok, my plans) have continued to change almost daily. Checking out the hospital was strangely bittersweet after my 6 week stint there; partially because it was starting to feel like home and I knew I would miss a lot of the benefits of having people care for me day and night, as well as the fact that I was leaving without my babies! My original plan was to stay at the Ronald McDonald house in GR so I could take the shuttle back and forth to the hospital, but after touring and checking in I was not sure I could handle that amount of isolation at that point, and was kind of nervous about being on my own so soon after surgery so my understanding husband helped me check right back out and I went to the Kohsels with the rest of my family Saturday night. It was so good just to be able to be with everyone again, and feel like a part of my family again!

After much debate I decided to go home with Eugene and the kids Sunday, with the hopes of being able to drive back down either Tuesday or Wednesday so I could have my own transportation to go back and forth to the hospital. Unfortunately, I've had enough pain issues and random rib issues that I have not felt overly comfortable driving all that way by myself just yet. Today seemed to be somewhat better though so I'm hoping to give it a try tomorrow.

It's hard because I have loved being at home with Eugene, Kyla, Addie and Taiven, especially after having been away for so long, but at the same time it's killing me to be away from the babies for so long! I feel like either way I can't win. I know that the babies are being well cared for, but at the same time it's not the same as being there yourself. It's just frustrating feeling like I can't be the mom that I want to be either place at the moment! We're hoping that the babies will either be able to come home or be transferred to the hospital in Petoskey within the next couple weeks, but we'll see. Everything is just a day at a time right now. Although I know it present a whole new set of challenges, I can't wait for our family to all be together again!

Ok, now that I have written an entire book on the events of the last several days it's time to go get some sleep. I figure I better do that while I can these days!

1 day old

Two peas in a pod

Delaney "Lani"

Alexa "Lexi"

The girls continue to amaze us as they were transferred less than 24 hours from the NICU to the NIM (stepdown unit). They are breathing completely on their own and tolerated their first breast milk feedings today. We've enjoyed holding them next to each other today. They seem to miss each other. God's grace has never been so tangible as it is now. He is so faithful!

Happy Birthday!

Well, Delaney Mae and Alexa Janae were born this morning at 8:53 a.m. Delaney weighed in at 3 pounds, 10 ounces, and Alexa weighed in at 3 pounds, 8 1/2 ounces. Both girls measured 16 inches long. Both Delaney and Alexa were put on a c-pap initially to assist with their breathing, but they have both since been taken off and have been breathing unassisted! Everything went smoothly with the c-section and we are thrilled with how well the girls are doing so far. We were even able to hold them for a while this evening doing "kangaroo care" where you hold the baby skin to skin. They seem so small and fragile, especially compared to our usual 10 pound babies, but they are so sweet! We are so grateful that they are both here and healthy, all things considered! It was pretty amazing to see the cords all twisted, and Alexa had the cords wrapped and looped around her midsection twice, and yet they are both out and doing amazingly well. Praise God!

Day Thirty-nine

Less than 2 days to go until d-day (delivery day)! I get butterflies just writing that! It feels like we have been waiting for this day for so long, even though it will be a full 2 months shorter than any of my other pregnancies. I've just never been so consumed with any of my pregnancies before and making it to 32 weeks without anything happening to either baby is such a blessing and answer to prayer. It's a day that seemed like it would never come, not that we're there just yet but we're so close!

I had another good weekend with the fam, and I also got to spend some time with Gwen and Jennie (and family) for a while this weekend. We had a great Girls Night Out last night, which was very refreshing! It worked out well that I got to spend an extra day with Euge and the kids today too since it was Labor Day. We were even able to get in a little last minute school shopping today. Kyla starts first grade tomorrow and then Addie starts preschool on Wednesday. I really wish I could be there! At least neither of them is starting a new school this year, although this will be Kyla's first year of going all day, every day.

I've still been contracting occasionally, but I swear it's mostly just when they put me on the monitors, which is frustrating because if I start contracting they leave me on longer and then I contract more and on and on it goes. They also started the second round of betamethasone steroid injections today in an attempt to help the babies' lungs develop a little more before we deliver Wednesday.

I'm so excited to see the babies and have them be part of our lives, but there's definitely a lot I'm nervous about too! Here's just a few of the concerns on my mind...

• I'm nervous about having a c-section, as this is my first one - just kind of a fear of the unknown.
• I'm nervous about how the babies are going to do once they are out and how their health will be.
• I'm nervous about how I'm going to balance my time between being here with the babies and being home with Eugene and the kids.
• I'm nervous about trying to care for 5 kids once the babies come home, and giving them all the attention that they each so desperately need and deserve.
• I'm nervous about trying to care for 2 babies at the same time (I am so not the baby whisperer!)
• I'm nervous about whether or not I'm ever going to see anything or anyone outside the walls of my home for the next year, and if not, how I will ever survive, being the social person that I am.

I could go on, but you get the idea. :) So I continue to pray that God will give me peace and the strength that I need to face each new challenge as it comes. He certainly hasn't let us down so far so I have to trust that he will continue to meet not only my needs, but the needs of every other person in my family! I honestly can't imagine trying to face all this on my own, and I am so grateful that I don't have to!

Day Thirty-four

Thirty-one weeks down, one to go! As of Monday, we have an official delivery date. If all goes as planned we will be going to c-section at 8:30 a.m. on Wednesday, September 9th, which is kind of a cool date as it will be 9-9-09. My nurses were suggesting that I should have the babies at 9:09, just to add to the coolness. Right now I'm just hoping to make it to next Wednesday! I've been having quite a few contractions over the last couple days. Last night I was having contractions every 3-6 minutes or so so they checked my cervix to see if there was any change. There wasn't, but they started me on some Procardia again, which didn't seem to help initially, but things eventually settled down after a couple hours. Everything was pretty calm for the rest of the night, but the contractions started up again this morning so they checked me again. Since I still wasn't showing any change the doctor said they wouldn't do anything about it right now unless they get a lot stronger or more frequent. Needless to say, I've been doing a lot less walking around these days just to make sure I'm not triggering anything.

Everyone keeps saying how I must be so anxious to get out of here, and as much as I miss my family and my home I have to say I'm almost a little nervous about leaving the hospital. I've been here long enough now that this has become my norm, and I've kind of gotten used to having my own routine, which does not include having to cook or clean or discipline, etc., etc. I know that once I leave the hospital life will not be as calm as it is right now for quite some time so I'm trying to "enjoy" the time I have left here, as strange as that sounds. That said, I am very excited about meeting my little girls and being able to feel like a part of my family again, no matter how much chaos ensues!