Day Thirty-one

Not much new happening right now. They are continuing to keep an eye on my contractions, but so far I have just had a couple per monitoring strip so they are not too concerned at this point and I was able to have my IV taken out yesterday, which I was thankful for. Just having it in temporarily made me appreciate my freedom all the more!

It was good to see Eugene and the kids again this weekend. I was able to leave yesterday, but today my doctor wanted me to stay in and lay low since I was continuing to have contractions this morning. The kids have really done impressively well spending as much time in the hospital as they have; not that it always goes entirely smoothly, but they have done far better than I ever imagined they would. I was also amazed to see that Taiven really seems to be healing quickly. He was putting his full weight on both arms and using them pretty normally this weekend.

The babies are still looking good, despite the occasional decel. They are very active these days and the nurses and I get a kick out of watching my stomach do the wave or seeing a hand or foot slowly but deliberately move across my entire abdomen. People keep asking throughout my pregnancy if it feels different to be carrying two babies, and up until now I would say it hasn't really, but within the last week or so the amount of movement in there has gone to a whole new level where at times I feel like there are extremities moving and and poking every part of my stomach! It makes for hours of entertainment when there's not much else to do! :)

Day Twenty-eight

Well, today has been a little more eventful than I anticipated. They put me on the monitors this morning as usual, and everything looked ok with the babies for the most part, but it was showing that I was having contractions fairly frequently. I couldn't really feel them at first, but once I noticed them on the monitor I could feel a slight tightening. It was frequent enough that the doctor was concerned and so they put in an IV to pump me full of water to see if maybe I was just dehydrated and that was what was causing the contractions. They seemed to slow a little with the IV, but did not stop so then they had me take a medication called Procardia to try to stop them and as soon as I did that they stopped and I was able to go off the monitor at least, although they left the IV in for now. The rest of my monitoring sessions today were uneventful and showed no contractions so that's good. Now we just wait and see what happens!

Taiven seems to be healing pretty well so far. I don't think he's been slowed down too terribly much, from what I hear. Surprisingly enough, it sounds like kids his age can actually heal from something like this in as little as 2 weeks! It's definitely a relief to know that he doesn't seem to be in too much pain at least. The girls seem to be doing well as well. Half the time they're not even interested in talking on the phone anymore so I guess that's a good sign that they're not missing me too much!

We've spent a lot of time this week talking about when we want to deliver, assuming the babies don't decide for us! The big debate is whether to deliver at 32 weeks and risk more of the complications that can come with prematurity or do we wait until closer to 34 weeks and risk the possibility of something happening and losing one or both of them all together. I think at this point we're leaning more toward delivering at 32 weeks, but we'll see as time goes on.

Between my visit to the NICU and having a couple scares this week I have found this verse to be a good reminder: "He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear." (Psalm 112:7-8). God has been so faithful throughout this entire process, and I know I can trust in Him. Sometimes I just need to remind my heart of that!

Day Twenty-six

Well, Eugene and I have officially been married for 8 years as of today. Eugene actually drove back down to Grand Rapids last night after work to surprise me so that we could spend our anniversary day together. I was outside taking a walk around the hospital and talking to him on the phone when he pulled up beside me. I was quite surprised, to say the least! I think that was the best gift he could have given me. It's amazing how much you grow to appreciate a little time together when you don't get to see each other on a regular basis for a month! I am so thankful I've been blessed with such an amazing husband!

I got another day pass to leave today since it was our anniversary and all, but after this morning's monitoring we weren't sure if we were going to be able to go or not. It was definitely the most concerning monitoring session I've had yet. Baby A was having numerous decelerations (which is the main thing we're watching for). By the time all was said and done I was on the monitors for an hour and a half as opposed to the usual 20-30 minute stint I typically have, but her heart rate eventually stabilized enough that they felt confident that everything was ok. Fortunately, our last monitoring session looked much better. Praise God!

Yesterday I finally went down to tour the NICU. The nurse showed me a baby that was about 29 weeks like mine are right now, and although I thought I was prepared, I immediately started to tear up. He was just so tiny! He looked so fragile laying in his isolet with all the bright lights and cords and everything hooked up to him. It's amazing to me the technology that is available today for these babies. Still, I'm just praying that we are able to make it at least another couple weeks so the babies can develop a little more before they enter into this harsh outside world!

Day Twenty-four

This weekend has definitely been one of the more difficult ones since I have been in the hospital. Taiven fell off a swing last Thursday and seemed to hurt himself more so than the normal bump or bruise, but we couldn't tell for sure just how bad it was or if he was just extra tired or what. Then last night we were at a BBQ (aka "Meat Fest") at the Kohsel's and Taiven finally got down to play outside for a little and then tripped and fell and proceeded to cry in obvious pain for the next hour or so until he eventually fell asleep.

This morning when he got up Eugene said he was definitely favoring his right arm and seemed to be walking as though his left shoulder was lower and was bothering him. Eugene rechecked his shoulder and discovered that he had apparently dislocated it. He proceeded to pop it back in, which was pretty traumatic for all involved, but Taiven seemed to be feeling much better afterward. However, he would still cry if we tried to pick him up or if he moved the wrong way so after they got home tonight Eugene took him into the office and x-rayed his shoulder and discovered that he had also broken his clavicle. No wonder the poor boy was in so much pain!

All this, along with being able to see the toll all this transition is starting to take on my family, made for a very difficult weekend emotionally for me. It was heartbreaking for me to see Taiven in so much pain and know that I had to leave him to go back to the hospital. Even though I know there is not a whole lot I could do for him it's just hard to feel like you can't be there for your child when he is hurting, and can't help bear the load this creates for those who are caring for him.

As for the babies, they continue to look good overall. Thursday we had a couple of monitoring sessions where their heart rates dropped for a period of time, but they eventually recovered and have monitored well since. It was definitely a reminder for me though that we are not in the clear yet. I feel like I am learning a hard lesson about trusting the Lord right now; even with my children. Maybe I'll get it eventually...

Day Twenty

Well, the babies are 29 weeks as of today. We had a growth ultrasound and cord doppler today and both babies are still looking good. Their cords are quite obviously tangled at this point, which is to be expected, but there don't appear to be any tight knots or anything concerning at this point. Baby A weighs 2 pounds, 15 ounces, and Baby B weighs 2 pounds, 14 ounces. That is about 50th percentile for babies at this stage so I was happy with that! So for now we just keep on keeping on...

Day Seventeen

I had a good weekend with Eugene and the kids. I was able to leave again both yesterday and today. I was even able to go to church with them today! We also got to get in a couple rounds of Settlers with Scott and Liz last night, which was fun even though Eugene beat us both games. The goodbyes with the kids are definitely getting better, although it's never easy for me.

The babies are both still looking good, despite some minor decelerations by Baby "B" a couple times. The nurses continue to reassure me that the readings still look good over all though. Liz commented last night that Eugene and I seem so at peace about things, and we really are at this point. I'm not sure why, except that it's an answer to prayer, because I certainly was not at peace about things earlier in the pregnancy. I felt like I was constantly wondering if the babies were ok or if I would move the wrong way if something would happen to them, etc., etc. But at this point I can truly say that I feel at peace about this pregnancy. That's not to say that if something were to happen I wouldn't have a hard time with it, but for today anyhow I am thankful that God has given me peace that He is in control and I can trust Him, regardless of the outcome.

I keep thinking about this verse:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

So true!!

Day Fifteen

Well, the babies are officially 28 weeks as of Wednesday. Apparently 28 weeks is a big milestone in terms of lung development, which is encouraging! Their cord doplars and monitoring continues to look great thus far! Another milestone is that I have survived my first two weeks in the hospital. Yea! That means only 4-6 more weeks to go. Now that I have two down that really isn't sounding as bad. In fact this week has been kind of fun as I have had a lot of visitors and have been able to catch up with a lot of people that I have not seen in a long time, and have gotten to hang out with some of my friends without our kids around interrupting our conversation every couple minutes, which has been kind of nice for a change! :)

That said, I do miss my kids (and my husband!) dearly and am very excited for them to be coming down again today for the weekend. It seems as though they have thoroughly enjoyed their week with A-ma and A-gong, but it will be nice to have a little time with them before they're off to stay at Grandma and Grandpa's house next week! I am so grateful for everyone's continued prayers for our family, and truly feel like God has been meeting our every need and even exceeding my expectations in many ways.

Day Twelve

Well, the last couple days have gone by faster than I thought they would, thanks to some surprise visitors. Yesterday I wasn't really expecting anyone and then Challah (an old friend from our church here in Grand Rapids) stopped in to visit for a couple hours. After she left Rod and Jodie (friends from our church in Petoskey) called to say they were in town and stopped in with their girls yesterday afternoon. Then today Liz and the boys came in again for a little this morning and when I got back to my room the Byers (our pastor and his family) were there waiting. They were on their way back to Petoskey from their vacation and stopped in for a bit. I know I've said it before, but I have just been so overwhelmed by everyone's support and the fact that all these people are taking time out of their busy schedules to come visit! I haven't even had much time to get bored, which is great!

The babies monitored well today. Baby "A" had one deceleration last night during our monitoring, and the nurse called the doctor to look at it and kept me on the monitors a little longer to make sure everything was ok, but everything else looked good. Both Eugene and my doctor reassured me that an occasional decel is normal and nothing to be concerned about, but I have to say I was a little concerned initially. I hope in the end it turns out that we had no need to be here, but for now I'm thankful that we're getting the monitoring we need to hopefully pick up any potential problems!

Day Ten

I had another good day today. My doctor surprised me again this morning when he rounded and casually offered that if I wanted to go out again today I could just let the nurses know. I, of course, took him up on his offer and we had another fun day outside of the confines of the hospital eating at McDonald's, hanging out at the mall, and going to Culver's for frozen custard. The kids did much better saying goodbye tonight, but that could have something to do with the fact that 2 out of 3 of them were sleeping by the time they dropped me off!

The babies are still looking good, although they are getting quite skilled at dodging the monitors. I swear as soon as the monitors come out they start moving like crazy trying to hide! Let's hope this isn't a sign of the mischievousness to come...

Day Nine

We had a full day today, as this was the first day I was able to leave the hospital for part of the day. Eugene and the kids came first thing this morning and we left for our day out on the town. First things first, we headed to Target :) so I could pick up a few things I had been wanting to get, then we went for lunch at Noodles and Co., and then headed to the Children's Museum for the afternoon before heading back to the hospital before my "curfew". All in all it was a very fun day, although we were all pretty tired by this evening.

I have to say, it felt kind of strange being out in public again! I don't know if I have grown a lot in the past week or what, but it felt like all day people were commenting about how I look like I'm about to pop. It's always amusing to see the shock in their eyes when I tell them I'm not due until November! Maybe it's a good thing I'm secluded in the hospital for the next several weeks and delivering early. I can only imagine the comments I would get if I were carrying these babies full term!

Kyla was already having a hard time this evening anticipating having to go home tomorrow, but we did a lot of talking and preparing before they left tonight and she did very well, although I could tell she was fighting back tears. I guess Taiven felt that someone needed to pick up the slack, and he took over crying and clinging. I don't know why it always hits me so hard when one of them doesn't want to let go because I know they will be fine in minutes, but it just kills me every time. I think I've been spoiled being able to stay home with my kids and spend every day with them. As a result, this much time apart is a big transition for all of us. The cool thing is that I feel like I am experiencing God as my comforter and strength in ways that I never have before, and now I am just praying that my children will as well!

Day Eight

Today was full of unexpected blessings. First, my doctor offered this morning that I could have a day pass to leave the hospital some time this weekend, which of course I was thrilled about, and then tonight I was told that I could move to the coveted corner room (it's a little bigger and has an extra window)! On top of all this my family came to visit today, along with Moe, Kristen and Zao. The only down side was when Eugene and the kids went to leave for the night Kyla had a very hard time leaving again, even though she was just going home to sleep. Overall, though, it has been a good day and I'm so looking forward to a fun day out with Eugene and the kids tomorrow!

Day Seven

Well, I have survived my first full week in the hospital. All in all it went by faster than I thought it might. The good news of the day was that I passed my 3 hour glucose test! That means no more finger pokes or insulin shots and I can keep eating my sweets and carbs. Yea! I guess that made the four blood draws worthwhile. Other than that, not much happening. Just counting down the hours until my family comes tomorrow...

Day Six

The babies are officially 27 weeks today. Yea! Somehow each week feels like a whole new milestone with this pregnancy. I had an ultrasound to look at the cord doplars today. It is suposed to help detect any cord compression. Praise God everything continues to look good. My mom and dad came to visit for the day today so once again I was blessed with entertainment for a good portion of my day. No song and dance or anything, but they did let me beat them in a game of Shanghai! :)

Day Five

Today went by more quickly than I anticipated. It definitely helps to have visitors and phone calls! The babies were very cooperative on the monitors today, and I was cleared from doing the blood sugar tests until Thursday at least so that's good news!

I'm beginning to realize that I need to be intentional with my time here or else I will waste the days away. I definitely believe that there is a purpose for everything, and I have to remind myself that God has a purpose even for this time in my life. I want to be intentional even in my time here where it feels like it doesn't matter what I do! I want to seek the Lord and His will for me whether that's just to spend more time in the Bible or in prayer or whether there are women here that I can encourage somehow or something else! But I'm finding that like most things no matter how much time or lack of time I have if I don't make it a priority it won't happen.

Day Four

Well, it's been a pretty uneventful day today - which isn't all bad. The babies are still looking really good. My excitement for the day was that I got to have an EKG and Echo done on my heart and now I'm on a monitor for 24 hours. This was all as in result to my heart rate being abnormally high when they took my vitals once on Saturday. I figure now's as good of a time as any to get it all checked out though since I'm here already and don't have much going on! I also managed to get away without any insulin shots today, which was nice. Hopefully once I have my 3 hour glucose test on Thursday I will be cleared of all blood sugar issues, but we'll see!

Day Three

Well, I survived the family goodbye today, although not without a few tears shed. I was doing fine until we were giving hugs goodbye and Kyla would not let go. I was trying so hard to be strong, but her hug just broke my heart. I really thought Taiven would be the one having the hardest time, but I'm not sure he has even noticed that I'm not there whereas it has been much harder for Kyla than I anticipated. I can only hope that this gets easier, and not harder, as time goes on.



The good news is that the babies' heartrates are still looking good, and my blood sugar levels have been coming down some (even with my chantilly cake splurge!), although they have not let up on the insulin shots as of yet.



I continue to feel very blessed by everyone's concern and support. I'm not sure how I am so blessed to have so many amazing people in my life, but I'm extremely grateful.

Day Two

Today was a good day. Eugene and the kids came around 9:30 this morning and ended up staying until almost 7. The kids did great, and they even all took naps here! I was able to leave the floor a couple times with them to go to the cafeteria and for a walk. We even snuck outside for a little fresh air, which was great.

No more contractions today; praise God! I'm even starting to get used to all the shots and finger pokes, although I'm still praying that they end soon. I'm beginning to realize just how good I have it here compared to most of the other women on this floor. I met someone today who has been on bedrest here since week 17. She is now 27 weeks and will likely be here for a couple more months, an has no idea if her baby's lungs will be developed at all when she does deliver. Yup, I definitely have a lot to be thankful for.